Ah-Ha

Sometimes you have an ah-ha moment. For me, it often resonates thru my speakers - a song playing on the radio, that is fiercely correlating with my emotions. It seems as if the lyrics reach out to grab me if only to describe how I am feeling when I can't seem to put into words. It is, as if, until that moment I am the only one in the world who is feeling this way, even though reality reminds me that is likely not the case. 
During my initial transition to stay at home mom, I was struggling in several aspects. All of a sudden, I wasn't just a guest at the supper table anymore, it was up to me to fill our day with lessons, love, and laughter. I don't think I was quite prepared for what that meant, and some days I still don't think I know. What I did know, was that nothing in my expensive college education left me feeling prepared for the journey I was embarking on. In the beginning, there were some very difficult days for me, as a mom. There were times I shed tears, times I locked myself in the bathroom, and times where I grew extremely frustrated (now who sounds like the toddler?). I remember one particularly challenging day, nothing I did made him happy. In fact, it seemed as if my interaction - of any kind - only made things worse. As my frustration grew, I started to believe that I was a horrible parent and became worried that every day was going to be like this. 
When he laid down for a nap, after I recollected myself, I thought I would take a few moments to catch up with the world. I started perusing Facebook, in search of anything that would make me feel better - Then, there it was...someone had shared this miraculous blog post about being the parent of a small child(ren) and I cried as I read it, because it was as if this Steven Wiens guy could read my mind.
This time it wasn't a song blaring over my speakers. Instead, it came from a man whom apparently had once been in my shoes...a man who was brave enough to put these feelings into words for the world to see, and then share them so poor lost souls like me could read them. This one article changed my entire perspective.  It made me realize that these moments aren't about perfect, or right, or wrong, they are about doing the best you can with it. There are going to be hard days, and times when I make mistakes - because I am human. In no way does that make me a failure as a parent.  
So, if you have or have ever had a small child, I encourage you to read these words, if you haven't already. Maybe it won't have the same profound effect as it did for me, but there is wisdom there that every parent deserves to hear.

To The Parents of Small Children: Let me be the One Who Says it Outloud